hyperaktivitet

When did I grow up? When did I become someone I don't want to be? I'm just a kid. "I'm not as stupid as they were." I guess I proved myself wrong. I just wish I that I didn't ignore the voice of God, telling me that if I continued with what I did, something bad would happen. I just wish I didn't continue, that it was all a weird dream that will end any second now. But it won't. I have let myself, my mom, God, everybody else down. I don't know which is worst. I only know that the only one who'll forgive me is God. And I'm not even sure of that either. I feel like crying. I probably will. God. Help. I don't want it to be true, I want it to be my paranoia. Please. Please God... Please...

Nu när jag fått ut det ur systemet så kanske jag kan andas igen. Jag skrev på engelska för att det ger en distans till mig själv. Jag orkar inte att tänka på det längre. Ut, ut, ut ur mitt huvud.

And it's like, every time I turn around
I fall in love and find my heart face down and
Where it lands is where it should
This time it's like
The two of us should probably start to fight
'Cause something's gotta go wrong
'Cause I'm feeling way too damn good

God bless,