hyperaktivitet

If only people knew, what hides just past my lips. Teethering on the edge, pushing on the walls I've built to keep it in, with ever more pressure for each second that ticks away... If only people knew, just what it takes to hold them away. Not just for my sake, not just for their sake, not just for anyones sake; just för the sake of it. If only people knew, what were to happen if those barriers would break.

Can you imagine a damm breaking? The water bursting out with a force so powerful it knocks over everything in it's way? The damage inflicted by that rupture? The time it takes to heal afterwards?

If only people knew, how I feel like I'm about to explode. Any minute now. It could happen any minute now. If only people knew, how close I feel to the last straw that will break the camels back. The last drop that will make the cup flow over. The last thing that'll send me right over the edge and makes me lose it. Lose my sanity. Lose everything. If only people knew, how close I am to pressing my fingers against this keyboard, and typing something completely different than what is showing up on my screen. How close I am to picking up my cellphone and writing a text message completely off from those I usually send. How close I am to clicking my way into my contacts and dialing these numbers, screaming things I can barely even think of, barely dream about. How close I am to opening my window and shouting what really is just past my lips. No matter how far away they seem. No matter how random and unpredicted and out of character they might appear. They are there, and they constantly threaten to sneak away in the direction that will expose them. If only people knew, what chaos would errupt. Complete pandemonium caused by one lethal slip. One deadly step away from the line.

If only people knew. If only people knew.